Fuck the introductions.
It all started on Friday night, one of my closest friends parents just left the house to him and his siblings for three weeks and we wasted no time in celebrations. I will not name names but there was friend #1, friend #2, friend #1 older brother, lady friend, and girl previously mentioned as the one that walked away http://thesaucejournal.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/first-post-first-sexual-experience.html (who happens to go out with friend #1's older brother).
Girl previously mentioned decided we should play a drinking game, at 8 o'clock, who wants to play drinking games at 8 o'clock? So we play a game known as "fuck the bus", I still don't really understand what was happening but I do know people teamed up and decided to make me drink, a lot. More of friend #1 older brothers friends show up and join the game and the drinking games continue. For some reason we all decide to go to friend #1 room quickly just to get something and lady friend #1 and myself hang behind. At this point I was about a 5 on the drunk scale and I would say she was around the same.
After giving her "the look" I do my thing and we are making out, 10 glorious minutes later girl previously mentioned notices I wasn't with them and she decides to look for me, interrupting this as I try to pretend we were just talking (cockblock number one). So she leaves and I go to talk to my friends, I then notice she went to the unoccupied loungeroom, so naturally, I went to find her. So we go again for about another 10 minutes as I slowly move my hand lower and lower. At this time friend #1's sister arrives home and we stop and pretend we are talking (cockblock number two). We decide to relocate back to the bedroom. So then I finally did it, I got my fingers inside a girls vagina. She then takes her top of and lets me play with the most magnificent body part on a female. Turns out her "soft spot"is on her breasts, I guess that's what you call a "win win" situation. So after that I simply ask her if she wants to have sex with me, apparently that would be a bad idea but I was not fussed, I'll take what I can get. So we keep going as she moves her hands down to my pants.
Around this time one my friends comes at the hall and yells "HEY MAN, CAN I HAVE MY GIANT BLACK DILDO BACK?" or something to do with a black dildo. It was hilarious but causes us to stop (cockblock number 3). After that she goes back into my pants but then all of my friends decide to burst into the room, for whatever reason (cockblock number 4). She then decides it's best to stop. And that's the end of that sexual story but the night continues.
So I go outside with #1 friends older brothers (who I all skate with) and we sit around the table doing things drunk people do. At this point I decide to go to the service station to get ice cream, I fucking love ice cream. Girl previously mentioned as the one who walked away was leaving soon and needed to talk to me. We weren't really friends any more (along time ago I liked her, she didn't like me back) and then in her drunken state, decides to tell me that she always loved me but never wanted a relationship with me... It was as uncomfortable and awkward as it sounds. So with that all over I go get ice cream.
I get back, friend #2 throws up on glass door. So I cleaned it. I spilt beer on pool table, it stains. We all call it a night when friend #2 has thrown up everything. I ended up spooning lady friend for the night and that's about it.
Stay Saucy.
Patrick.
Sunday 25 March 2012
Mile High Club?
Went to the U.S of A over the Christmas break just past, and there are definitely some good stories to be shared. But only one purely qualified for a blog such as this.
Oddly enough, it was pretty much the very last thing that happened on the trip.
It was on the plane ride home. I was sitting the middle of the middle in economy class. Older lady on one side, two unaccompanied minors on the other. One a young boy and the other his older sister who, let me make this clear now, was atleast 14 and a half. She was right next to me, and her brother on the isle. But the formation of my row is hardly significant. My plan for the entire flight, just like any other flight, is to watch as many movies and TV shows as possible without sleep, to gain a night of jetlag sleep once landed. After watching around 3 or 4 films, it was that time int he flight where everyone is trying to get some sleep as their body clock is shutting off for the night. Not for me however. And certainly not for the girl next to me. Not yet anyway.
Her brother falls asleep facing her (That might seem like an insignificant detail, but just wait for it. She's still watching The Office and I'm just giving in to the idea of some sleep. I know right, a girl three years younger than me outlasted my in the game of staying awake. So I'm trying to sleep, head tilted towards her, which how I usually sleep, I kind of notice her moving pretty quickly and oddly. As stealthily as possible, I open my eyes the tiniest bit at it just looked like she was scrathing herself under her blanket or something. However, I then noticed her facial, and man, that must have been some good itch, or she was 'scratching' her clitoris. This goes on for quite some time, and I'm still pretty stunned at whats happening right infront of me, and infront of her little brother who, as mentioned before, has fallen asleep FACING HER and could wake at any time. Oblivious to the taboo of her actions, she keeps going at it. The weird part was, she was still staring daggers at the TV screen, and would then stop, change the volume, and continue, and then repeat this a dozen times. So she keeps going at it, and I'm gobsmacked. I still question it today. Finally she 'climaxes' and does the whole shake and tense thing in her chair. This is where the sauce is apparent. With one hand outside her blanket, she grabs her hand that is inside the blanket pretty firmly and wipes off all reminants of her prior activities.
I will admit, that made me cringe. After this, she wakes her brother to let herself past, and she then heads to the toilet. My guess it to either clean up, or for round 2. Who knows..
Not sure if this qualifies me for the Mile High Club, by means of witness, but I'll claim it..
Stay Saucy, at all times.
You never know..
-James.
Oddly enough, it was pretty much the very last thing that happened on the trip.
It was on the plane ride home. I was sitting the middle of the middle in economy class. Older lady on one side, two unaccompanied minors on the other. One a young boy and the other his older sister who, let me make this clear now, was atleast 14 and a half. She was right next to me, and her brother on the isle. But the formation of my row is hardly significant. My plan for the entire flight, just like any other flight, is to watch as many movies and TV shows as possible without sleep, to gain a night of jetlag sleep once landed. After watching around 3 or 4 films, it was that time int he flight where everyone is trying to get some sleep as their body clock is shutting off for the night. Not for me however. And certainly not for the girl next to me. Not yet anyway.
Her brother falls asleep facing her (That might seem like an insignificant detail, but just wait for it. She's still watching The Office and I'm just giving in to the idea of some sleep. I know right, a girl three years younger than me outlasted my in the game of staying awake. So I'm trying to sleep, head tilted towards her, which how I usually sleep, I kind of notice her moving pretty quickly and oddly. As stealthily as possible, I open my eyes the tiniest bit at it just looked like she was scrathing herself under her blanket or something. However, I then noticed her facial, and man, that must have been some good itch, or she was 'scratching' her clitoris. This goes on for quite some time, and I'm still pretty stunned at whats happening right infront of me, and infront of her little brother who, as mentioned before, has fallen asleep FACING HER and could wake at any time. Oblivious to the taboo of her actions, she keeps going at it. The weird part was, she was still staring daggers at the TV screen, and would then stop, change the volume, and continue, and then repeat this a dozen times. So she keeps going at it, and I'm gobsmacked. I still question it today. Finally she 'climaxes' and does the whole shake and tense thing in her chair. This is where the sauce is apparent. With one hand outside her blanket, she grabs her hand that is inside the blanket pretty firmly and wipes off all reminants of her prior activities.
I will admit, that made me cringe. After this, she wakes her brother to let herself past, and she then heads to the toilet. My guess it to either clean up, or for round 2. Who knows..
Not sure if this qualifies me for the Mile High Club, by means of witness, but I'll claim it..
Stay Saucy, at all times.
You never know..
-James.
Tuesday 15 November 2011
I really can't let this place die.
Just as a fun fact, the other day after the Rememberance Day music played, it all went quiet for a moment until my friend said under his breath, but still loud enough for people to hear, "Where was the drop?".
It was pretty damn funny.
Anyway, hopefully I will soon have some much better stories to share with any and all of you, as the summer holidays are almost here and I'm going to first be living it up interstate with some friends for just over a week, and then I'm heading to America!
Shit yeah.
It was pretty damn funny.
Anyway, hopefully I will soon have some much better stories to share with any and all of you, as the summer holidays are almost here and I'm going to first be living it up interstate with some friends for just over a week, and then I'm heading to America!
Shit yeah.
Thursday 11 August 2011
All Is Quiet On The Saucy Front.
Things are terribly vacant here on The Sauce Journal.
We really need to get into some shenanigans, so we can write about them, for your enjoyment and entertainment!
We really need to get into some shenanigans, so we can write about them, for your enjoyment and entertainment!
Monday 18 July 2011
A Change Of Pace.
No sign of a crazy story here.
Just a bit of a bummer or whatever.
It sucks when the girl you kind of like is getting with another guy, whilst sitting next to you. Especially when you thought you had somewhat of a chance that night.
Maybe it was the marijuana thinking, but that shit sucked.
After times like these, the only thing you can do is sit back and listen to Remember Last Time by Avi Buffalo.
Fuck Bitches, Obtain Sauce.
-James.
Just a bit of a bummer or whatever.
It sucks when the girl you kind of like is getting with another guy, whilst sitting next to you. Especially when you thought you had somewhat of a chance that night.
Maybe it was the marijuana thinking, but that shit sucked.
After times like these, the only thing you can do is sit back and listen to Remember Last Time by Avi Buffalo.
Fuck Bitches, Obtain Sauce.
-James.
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